Bike Rides & Ice Cream

Yet another morning summoned from my bed by a crying toddler.  My second child is now 2 years old and continually in the struggle between independence, and the not yet capable skills she wishes she possessed. 

Since the beginning she has been a more "passionate" child than most.  At about three weeks old she became colicky and cried each night for about 5-6 hours.  When this phase ended we moved to baby tantrums.  Now I know what most think, "oh yeah, they are upset about something not going their way and cry".  But NO, I am talking screaming, throwing, rolling on the floor, doesn't want up doesn’t want down, foaming at the mouth fits that last upward of an hour with no apparent trigger.  At this point there was a large chunk of time where I thought she may be suffering from some sort of medical concern. 

Now we have moved on to toddler tantrums.  Although as loud and long as ever, they seem to at least be able to be linked to reason.  One of our most recent occurred while attempting to create a lovely girls' night out of a bike ride and ice cream.

My husband is a shift worker and works nights on a somewhat regular basis.  This typically results in me attempting to come up with things done easily alone with my two little ones.  We live in a very small hamlet (I believe we have lost our village status) so I figured we could bike to the corner store and get an ice cream after dinner.  Seemed easy enough as the round trip is probably about 600 meters.

I started to get everyone ready.  Pulled out bikes and trailer for the smaller one, got helmets down and placed on heads (I am unsure why they must wear a helmet while riding in a bike trailer- but hey I do what I am told).  Finally everyone is good to go (the process of getting ready is probably actually longer then the whole trip) and we depart.

The ride to the store was pretty uneventful - really a fairly calm 4 min tour.  We got to the store and went in to order.  My oldest wants the electric pink ice cream which is actually raspberry sorbet.  I was thinking that this was probably not a great choice for her but she was mesmerized by the colour.  I asked if she was sure and the attendant lets her try a little.  "Oh yes" she says and so I ordered her a small.  The attendant suggests birthday cake flavour for the other as a popular choice so I ordered a small of that.

Rookie error- never allows them to get different things.  So of course they wanted to try one another's and before I could protest the smaller one let the bigger one have a bite and vice versa.  The bigger one liked the smaller ones better and decided they should trade.  This did not go over well and so the tantrum began.

I scrapped her kicking and crying off the pavement outside the store and put her into the bike trailer.  She started to scream louder.  I clicked the buckle around her, a task she normally insists on completing herself.  Her tantrum escalates more.  We start to bike down the street as people in my neighbourhood stare.  She decides to unclick the buckle and try and stand in the moving trailer.  My oldest girl is whining that her legs are tired.  I pull over on the road fighting to get one back into the trailer while the other is standing crying that she can't possibly peddle the last block home.

Then, a door to door sales person decides it would be a good time to approach me and ask if I am happy with my hot water tank service provider.  At this point I cannot believe this is really happening.  I looked at him; I imagined with a stunned angry look on my face and tell him "not really a good time" in a clearly sarcastic tone.  He tries to speak more and give me a sales pitch in which I just reply NO and turn away.

I restrain them both into the bike trailer screaming and push the bikes home the last block. 

Just another fun girls' night out.

Lessons in Determination

Typically my Newly turned four year old is 100% mule (as in stubborn).  I distinctly remember my first attempt to wait out her stubbornness when she was just over two.  At that time we had merely five rules in our house:

1. No hitting
2. No kicking
3. No biting
4. No throwing
5. No pushing

These rules were reciting many times throughout each and every day; and on many occasions my then two and a bit year old recited them as well.  On this particular day  after I took something away from her she decided to rage against the man and gave me good hoof in the arm.  I promptly took action and told her "No, that hurts mommy".  Then I followed by asking her to say sorry and tell me what the rules were.  This was followed by a 45 minute wait until she finally gave in.  Now I would think that for a two and a bit year old that must be equivalent to like a week for an adult.

Since this time I can recall countless struggles due to how stubborn she can be; however this past week this normally troublesome trait shone through in a most positive light.

Last week we took her and her sister to a kind of indoor amusement park type of place.  Inside they had something referred to as the rope challenge.  Basically this was a series of ropes and beams suspended approximately one and a half stories above the ground.  Individuals are harnessed and clipped to tracks on the ceiling and then complete the series of obstacles.  My daughter decided she would like to give this a try.

So off the two of us went to line up and wait our turn.  The guy running the coarse buckled us in and showed me how to hold on to the clip on the back of her harness in order to keep her more stable.    It was at this point that I started to have second thoughts.  We climbed up to the first pedestal and looked at the coarse in front of us.  Now I was truly thinking I don't want to do this.

I bent down and said "you know we don't have to do this.  We can just climb down and go back to the rock wall."  She looked up at me and replied "no, I want to".  We stood on top of this pedestal for about 10-15 minutes trying to determine our route.  During this time some passed us, while others, some four times my little ones age backed out.  I bent down at least three more times trying to convince her to back out without sounding scared myself.  But she had decided in her head that she was going to do it.

Finally we took our first steps onto the beam.  Slowly but surely we made our way through a loop of four obstacles.  Then she relented and agreed to my suggestion that we could be done.  Thank goodness for that; I had been so stressed during this entire ordeal my calves burned and my arms ached.  I don't believe that I could have physically done anymore.

Never have I seen her so determined to complete any challenge and I could not have been more proud.  I felt very fortunate to have witnessed the power that stubbornness mixed with a goal can accomplish.

Night Owls

I started out being a person who said things like "my kids won't sleep in my bed" , and "they will just have to learn to sleep through it".  Four years in and these statements have been somewhat adjusted.  "My kids won't sleep in my bed unless I am to tired to move them back to their own" , and " we just have to get through this".

I have two wonderful girls that I have a great deal of patience with during waking hours.  My usual outlook does shift however in the wee hours of night.  I have literally been exasperated that my husband has walked down the stairs on the right side and did not miss the fourth step; because, everyone knows that that is the quietest way to get downstairs in my house.  I have completed all out army tactics of tuck and roll to try and get out of my kids rooms so they won't see me after dropping them not as gently as I would have hoped to into their cribs.  And I have taken the "shhhing" method to extremes as my neighbours have mentioned a hissing noise coming from our house that could have been a gas leak.

All in all we have experienced many sleepless nights in our house.  With this being said I am continuously amazed on how little sleep I require to get through a day.  I would have never believed anyone if they would have told me everything that I needed to complete in a day after a night of three hours of sleep.  I would have laughed and said it impossible; but alas, here I am in it.

In the morning when I get up (I refuse to say "awake" as that would imply that I slept) I know longer speak until that glorious brown caffeinated beverage has graced my lips.  Some days are a total fog, just counting hours until I can return to bed.

Many suggestions have been passed my way, most very contradicting.  One person stating to try rubbing their backs, while another one warning against it suggesting you wouldn't want them to get used to that.  Really I just want them to sleep no matter the means; so, I have tried everything.  What I learned is there is no sure fire method, and you can't force a little one to sleep.

Both of my girls are awake typically at least once a night and I am fine with it.  Just as clarification they don't require me to help them return to sleep each night, I just hear them in their room.  I know that this stage too shall pass.  I could be just delusional from the lack of sleep; but, for now I have come to peace with fact that I have rarely slept more than three hours consecutively since 2009.

Presently I am headed to bed, staying positive and hoping for a full nights sleep.  Goodnight.

Cake & Friends

We recently celebrated our oldest child's 4th birthday.  We have now attended a couple of parties for other children and were thinking for throwing her first official bash this year including "friends" (children she currently stands beside while she plays more or less on her own).  I started to Google ideas for themes and food and other fun festivities. There are many companies offering beautiful packages to outsource this planning on behalf of your child with great ideas.  I had settled on the theme of Princess and Pirates as these are currently two of her favourite things at this particular moment and also very popular.  I was undecided with how much I thought I may outsource.

Next I started to create a guest list along with my soon to be 4 year old of all her friends from school.  Soon my count was over 20 and growing fast.  As I looked at possible activities including hiring some sort of professional to entertain, goody bags, craft idea and maybe a bounce house I soon realized that my first endeavour into party planning for my 4 year old would probably cost more than my wedding and would be setting a standard on which we would be expected to meet each year. 

After still having mommy gilt for being away for her Birthday last year and telling her she was born on a different date so I could celebrate with her I continued to look at the party option.  I calculated and justified to myself that really you only host this type of party approximately 5 times for each child as once they are around 9 I am sure they would just prefer a sleep over with friends.

I spoke other mom's and friends who all had many suggestions of great creative ideas.  I searched Pinterest and found beautiful crafty ideas and photos.  Then I realized that I do not have "Oprah money" or even a fraction of the time required to pull this type of thing off. 

Yet another time in which I must take and step back and breathe. 

Upon further reflection and the fact that as per the usual I had waited until less than a week until her Birthday to seriously look at any of the information we decided against the party.  We had a homemade (boxed) cake and ice cream (store bought a.k.a. outsourced) with our neighbours and close family. 

Maybe next year there will be a party.