Dad Envy

I want to be a dad.  They have a way better gig.   Everyone is continually complementing my husband on his fathering skills.  Don't get me wrong I do think he is pretty good; but, for the amount of praise he receives he should be offering "how to" classes. 

In today's society, it is my belief that in most two parent homes both parents work and are required to do so in order to live.  However, this has not always been the case.  In the past when many women were working in the home they became primary caregivers for children and thus dads were perhaps slightly less involved in day to day care-taking.  Fast forward to our present, and dad's no longer have a choice; they must have greater involvement in daily tasks as both parents are working outside the home.  However, older society members (boomers) who make up a large portion of our population are not exactly 100% used to this reality yet.

This is why I think it is a prime time to be a dad.  Things that my husband does with my children are praised; however, if I were to do the same, harsh judgement would be cast upon me.  Example, if a "dad" uses his sleeve to wipe a booger soaked face he is being resourceful; but, if a "mom" does the same she is so unprepared.

Since having children this double standard has been driving me crazy.  I cannot count the number of times that someone has said to me "wow, he is really good with your kids".  In the beginning I would just smile and say yeah even though secretly inside I was really annoyed by the comment.  Now my response is "I know, right? I thought he was going to be a dead beat too, but I thought hey what they hell, let's give it a try anyway".    Or sometimes I say "Yeah well they are his".  Clearly, before we had children and I married him I did give it some thought.   I mean really people!

Another annoying matter is the shock, then amazement, then approving smiles he gets once someone learns he has his own diaper bag.  Somehow, the bag is a symbol for people, correlating to the amount of involvement he has in our children's lives.  He did not want to carry the bag I chose, nor did I want to share the bag I knew I would be carrying for the next 3-4 years.  It is just a bag!  He takes our children out of our home and does not carry a purse, requires diapers & wipes and therefore has a vessel to put these items in.  Again, it is just a bag and it isn't even that nice of one.

All this aside, I do believe there is light at the end of this tunnel.  I believe that as time goes by expectations will be raised for dads as well.  In the future they will face the same sideways glazes that moms receive when brushing dirt off of our children's snacks and then handing it back to them.

But until that happens I want the "dad" job!